Marriage boundaries Essay

Important boundary principles helps couples build a strong marriage for the goodness of the family without compromising on their freedom, truth or integrity. Marriage boundaries may either be physical or emotional depending on how they are drafted by the two individuals. The physical boundaries entail the protection of the marriage from intruders (parents, in-laws, other people, external affairs or even children to some extent) who might disrupt the normal activities within the marriage. Emotional boundaries are complex to define and are usually confined to personal feelings, sexual satisfaction and how to deal with issues that may affect the family. In any perspective, marriage boundaries help to ensure that ea thriving family is achieved. There is other various marriage boundaries which dictate the extent to which the couple in the marriage are suppose to meet. These boundaries might range from sexual, family or societal relations which explain that married couples should remain as faithful as possible to each other. Unfaithfulness is believed to be the main contributor to marriage breakups and high divorce rates currently being experienced. Marriage identity Marriage identity is the legal aspect of the union between the two couples. Married people identify themselves as one and are related through love. Partners usually identify themselves as a family when children come to the scene . People marry either in a religious, social or judicial system and are awarded a marriage certificate. This is the legal identity in a marriage setting that identifies two people-husband and wife. Some societies also use children as an identity of their marriage and the family at large. These groups of people name their children after their parents. This will ensure that there is continuity of the family values and history for the generations to come Alliances Alliances in a marriage are very common these days due to increased collaboration of couples through religious, educational or geographical groupings. These alliances are can be good or bad for the family. Alliances can also be through corporations with the grandparents, extended family members and the community in general. Depending on the type of alliance developed in the marriage, good values or norms may be possible to be obtained. Some people in the alliance might use it as a weapon to ‘kill’ the morale of the other couple assuming that couples form alliances with one another (group marriage). There is always the issue of mistrust and spreading of propaganda among people in an alliance and the consequences are usually dire to the existence of a marriage Spouse differences Differences between the spouses may lead to family breakups . Spouse differences may come as a result of financial misappropriations or lack of it. In many societies, the spouses are taught to remain together as a couple despite the challenges that might be faced. Other wide and complicated factors have recently contributed to the emergence of spouse differences especially if they are not sorted out during courtship. Family differences and cultural disparities are the most common ones. It is also possible that the each partner in the marriage could associate himself or herself with a specific political group which may not be meaningful to the other partner. Such simple issues may result in huge misunderstandings in the marriage and by default the family at large. Many and more parents are increasingly incorporation their married children to their own settings so that they may be taught how to handle each other. Although this may be considered interference from the parents and the fact that those marrying are already grownups and can take care of them, it is important for the development of the family marriage Marriage economics Marriage economics is an issue that may in one way or another affect the family. Most cultures, historically makes sure that the family of the husband pays dowry to the family of the wife. Dowry is considered a token or gift for the wife’s family in order to allow the parents of the lady to have a ‘compensation’. Other cultures require that the family of the bride pays dowry to the family of the man marrying their daughter. But in both cases, the family of the groom and the family of the bride do the financial transactions without involving the bride. Recently issues of financial management between a husband and a wife have become a subject of discussion. People argue that the couple should have a joint account in order to make any financial decisions together. Excessive perfectionism Any marriage ensures that the families resulting from it benefit squarely. Children are the ‘fruits’ of the marriage and with that, the couple may want the children to live happily in future by investing in their good upbringing, education, behaviors, financial investments etc. In that process, there is a temptation of the parents to be over protective. Each of the partners would want to play their part in the child protection, upbringing and other roles of within the marital boundaries. Studies have shown that irresponsible children will most likely become irresponsible parents in future Marriage roles Marriage roles are dependent on the kind family it is considered. In a polygamous family, the father is the sole provider of the whole family and gets support from the wives. But in a monogamous marriage, the husband and wife share most of the roles. The husband in a traditional society is given more roles; security, provision of basic needs, building the houses among others. The wife on the other hand sires the children, prepare food and ensure that all household work is perfectly done. With increased levels of education, modernization and equality activists, things are changing and the roles of each member of the family is becoming insignificant. Marriage rules Depending on the two married partners, rules may differ from one marriage setting to the other. A marriage counselor once said that ‘the Dutch soccer principle’ applies in marriage. This principle means that any player can attack when an opportunity strikes and any player can defend when there is need to. The same applies in married where the husband or the wife can do the ‘attacking’ and ‘defending’ when necessary. Marriage rules are defined religiously, socially or legally through set policies by the government. Religious groups believe that the bible outlines how a husband and a wife must live together in harmony. One of the ten commandments of the bible clearly describes how one shall not covet his or her neighbor’s wife or practice any form of adultery, it is considered to be sin. Individuals also set their own marriage rules when they are beginning their married life i. e. to be faithful, committed, loving and considerate to each other.